Is it that time of year when you dread trying on last summer’s swimsuit? If you feel tempted by rapid weight loss and wishing to start another diet “just for a few weeks,” you’re not alone. But what if this year you chose a different path—one that actually lasts?

Is It Really Your Fault?

If you’ve dieted for years, you probably believe one thing: you must control your hunger to control your weight. When you “fail,” you blame your lack of willpower. You focus on the number on the scale, sometimes to the point where it becomes the only measure that matters.

Over time, this mindset disconnects you from the most important tool you have: your own hunger and fullness signals.

Little by little, you stop eating when you feel true hunger. You delay meals, skip snacks, or “hold out” to stay in control. Then you give yourself permission to eat more than you need later—because you “earned it,” because you “blew it,” or because you plan to start again on Monday.

The forbidden food becomes a reward for restriction or a punishment for guilt. You lose your internal guide: your body. You get used to eating too little at some times and too much at others. Your weight then tends to increase over the long term, not because you lack discipline, but because you live in a cycle your biology cannot tolerate forever.

Years later, many people no longer know what real hunger feels like. They don’t recognize normal fullness. They hit a dead end.

So how do you move forward without giving up on the idea of weight loss?

Relearn Your Body’s Signals

You can shift from “watching what you eat” to paying attention. This approach asks you to see your body as a partner, not an enemy.

Imagine you treated a friend the way chronic dieting treats the body—constant criticism, constant control, constant distrust. Your friend would walk away or fight back. Your body does the same. If you restrict for too long, it pushes back. It increases cravings. It lowers energy. It drives preoccupation with food. It makes you feel out of control around the very foods you fear.

Try the less-traveled road: make peace with your body. Treat it as a lifelong ally. Stop trying to tame it through punishment and reward.

This path does not produce dramatic “before and after” photos in three weeks. But it can produce something far more valuable: sustainable change. Over time, people often notice benefits that go beyond weight, such as more stable eating, fewer cravings, improved confidence, and a calmer relationship with food.

The Real Goal Often Becomes “The Look”

Let’s be honest: many people pursue weight loss more for appearance than for health. Culture sells the idea that thinness equals happiness. But each person has a weight range where they feel well—physically, emotionally, and mentally. That range represents a more realistic “best weight” than any number promoted by diet culture.

Healthy weight management does not require constant deprivation or daily self-violence. It requires clarity.

You need to ask: Why do I want to lose weight?
You also need to identify what drives weight gain for you personally.

Only when you address those triggers can you reach a realistic, sustainable outcome.

Your Pattern Matters More Than the Diet

Some people gradually drift into larger portions. In that case, you may need to rebuild hunger and fullness awareness and relearn what “enough” feels like.

Some people experience a slower metabolism and stronger cravings after years of cycling between restriction and overeating. In that case, you benefit from abandoning rapid weight loss and stabilizing your eating rhythm. A normal, satisfying pattern reduces the risk of compensatory overeating.

Many people recognize pieces of both patterns, plus stress, sleep issues, emotional eating, or a chaotic schedule. The more pieces in the puzzle, the more patience you need—and sometimes professional support.

You Are Unique

Every weight story is different. No one-size-fits-all solution exists. A wellness-first approach looks at the whole person: constraints, needs, values, history, and current life context. Your values do not come out of nowhere. Your environment shapes them. Family messages, cultural norms, social circles, and media all influence how you see your body and your food choices.

You don’t need to find someone to blame. You need to understand the forces that shaped your beliefs so you can change the behaviors that no longer serve you.

That’s why the first step toward sustainable weight management often involves an inventory:

• What messages did you receive about food and body image?
• What behaviors did your family model?
• What rules did you adopt over time?
• What does your relationship with food look like today?
• What does your relationship with your body look like today?

These questions sound simple…They can change everything in the way you approach weight loss.

A Choice You Must Feel Ready to Make

Not everyone feels ready for this approach. Fast weight loss approaches offer a clear structure and a quick promise. Real change requires introspection. It requires honesty. It sometimes requires revisiting childhood patterns or painful experiences. It asks you to notice your automatic behaviors and shift them.

This work takes courage. It also pays off in many ways.

A truly healthy weight approach encourages you to respect yourself now, at your current weight. Self-esteem drives transformation. When you change how you see yourself, you change how you treat yourself. Those mindset shifts lead to lasting eating behaviors.

A New Kind of “Success”

If you feel stuck in a cycle of dieting and disappointment, consider ending the mental framework that keeps you trapped. The reward for people who stop dieting is not “perfect control.”, it’s freedom to:

• eat normally without constant guilt.
• enjoy food without fear.
• care for your health without hating your body.
• appreciate your life while you build healthier habits.

Like yourself a little more each day!

Translated and adapted from Perte de poids rapide ou durable, by Nathalie Tousignant.